There comes a time in life when self-care is impossible to ignore. When self-care becomes a priority on the heels of a health issue, tragedy, or crisis, the individual usually champions the change and revels in their new sense of wellbeing. Should it take a crisis to recognize its importance? There are many reasons why this is often the case, the most notable is the pervasive misconception that self-care is self-ish.
Despite what you may have been taught, or what you may have determined from messaging around you, self-care is not selfish. It is absolutely vital to a healthy, balanced and joyful life.
Here are some key points to help you find space in your life for your self-care.
Worth: You are worthy of your own time.
You do not need to constantly do for others to uphold your worth. You are worthy of your own time and care, just as much if not more, than others. In fact, busyness and people pleasing behavior is addicting and can be misused as a vehicle for finding worth. This can leave you feeling unappreciated and used by the very people you are trying to serve. Hear this: You are worthy. Period. The more you can establish self-care into your routine, the more you can hone in on activities that bring you true joy regardless of appreciation you receive from others.
Brace Yourself: Saying no will disappoint some.
You will not be able to say yes to everything and maintain a schedule that includes your own self-care time and activities. You must learn to politely disappoint some friends, family, and colleagues and not feel guilty. A good rule of thumb ~ no more “resentful yes’s”. Conduct a gut check, learn to listen to your intuition, and practice saying ‘no’ when you do not feel you can truly embrace and enjoy the activity or responsibility.
Capacity: When adding an activity, subtract an activity.
When you add a new responsibility, role or activity into your schedule, determine what can be dropped so that your schedule does not become overloaded. While we may think we can work, volunteer, and serve others non-stop, we simply cannot. When we try to cram it all in, we are challenged with diminishing returns and our rushed, sloppy, or half-hearted approach may leave us feeling frustrated when we should feel rewarded.
Find your voice: Just say no to rumination.
Have you ever been so shocked and irritated with something that someone said or did that you could not even respond? What happened later that day? I bet you thought of a million responses and how wrong the person was to behave that way. You continued to spend your time having a conversation with that person in your head, ruminating and wasting your time and energy. Find your voice to speak up at the time of the offense. Whether you respond with a simple “Pardon me?” to gain more clarity or you speak to directly to the issue “I believe…” or “My intention was…” You will be able to put the situation behind you then and there rather than feeling bullied.
Sensitivity: Your greatest gift.
If you are a sensitive individual, you may have a tendency toward over-serving and pleasing others. You are more susceptible to feeling you have no voice, an inability to speak up, and it often leads to getting angry at yourself. Know that your sensitivity is as much a gift as a curse. 15-20% of the population falls into the category of highly sensitive personalities (HSP). For more information on HSP, consult Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Personality. A link to the test is http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ Your empathetic, kind-hearted nature is important for the world, yet it requires (and you deserve) some special care.
Soul Nurturing Environment: Create your space.
Make sure there is space in your space for you! Take time to examine, evaluate, eliminate and enhance. De-clutter, send unused items into the world to serve others, create visually appealing space in your home that expresses your essence. Establish a space suitable for nurturing your soul.
These six steps are just a sneak peek at the many ways you can engage self-care to find your best self – one that is balanced, healthy and joyful.
To learn more about Elaine Aron’s book, visit http://amzn.to/2kSDnzQ.
For more information on self care, contact Kim Perone ([email protected]) or Helene Verdile, Certified Life Coaches ([email protected]) and visit www.Center4C.com.
