To continue my alphabetical mindset mastery, we’ll start with M today.
M
Meditate. You have been so busy and now you have some time at home and while that may be busy too, there is no better time than now to start meditating. I hear clients say that they just can’t because they have a common misperception that meditating is emptying your mind. If you are a busy person expected to accomplish a great deal, the thought of emptying your mind is frightening! Meditation is not emptying your mind in that sense, but rather gaining control over your thoughts. Reminder, we want want to SEE our thoughts, not BE our thoughts. So, if you were meditating, focusing on your breath, then you have a thought, let it go and go back to focusing on your breath. The thought was a distraction and we can thank distraction for the exercise of coming back to focusing on your breath again and again. Here’s a perfect meditation for our ABCD theme. (Source: Mindful Leader) ABCD Meditation: Anchor, Breath, Counting, Distraction. 1) Anchor your body, feeling your feet on the floor, your feet in your shoes or slippers, your back and legs against the chair, the temperature of the room, 2) Breathe and notice your breathing, fall into a comfortable pattern of inhale and exhale, 3) Count from 1-10. If you lose track, just begin again at 1, no worries, 4) Distraction can come from thoughts or sounds or even the counting itself. Begin again after a distraction and thank it for the exercise of control to come back to your breath. The counting itself may be distracting, and if so, simply abandon it and focus on your breath. You can do this for 3, 5 or 10 minutes to reset, recharge and create calm.
N
Non attachment. More often than not, we are attached to outcomes. We make plans, follow them and want life to unfold accordingly. We can do what we need to do, but without too much specificity for the outcomes. For instance, this time working from home or if you are essential worker out in the public, could have different outcomes than you think. We can receive the gifts and challenges. We do not need to control it. As we saw in the first couple weeks, things were changing each day. This may have caused you a great deal of extra stress. But if you do not identify personally with changes, you be more flexible and trust that doing your part each day in a changing landscape, will result in an outcome that “is”, even if it is one that may not have envisioned. For example, I had a very different idea for my career and would never have seen myself as a coach. I loved being a communication professional, but the adaptation to coach/trainer was paved by life’s adversity. Intense pain led me to purpose and there was a very real point I needed to detach from outcomes and just do what I was feeling called to do.
O
Openness & Opportunity. Stay open to the many opportunities that may unfold over time to show us our humanity and deliver us clarity, compassion and content. For instance, things become more clear when you hear you need to work from home and shelter in place only leaving for essentials. Before that, you may have been wondering “What should I do and what should I cancel?” Compassion has been delivered to everyone during this time because people have been demonstrating kindness and relieving others’ suffering in a multitude of ways. Contentment can be found by simplifying life. Allow yourself to find comfort over anxiety with openness and opportunity. Open your mind to the positive and find opportunity in this change of focus globally. I heard a spokesperson for a lab working on a vaccine note that at least in this crisis we are working together (scientists, doctors, companies) rather than opposition as in other types of crisis. Who knows what this level of focus will bring about, but it could be mind blowing!
P
Patience. I have to credit crisis with truly educating me on patience. My extreme distress after losing my 9 year old son Jack in 2004, required me to stop problem solving and start grieving. There were things I could do, like love my surviving son and take care of family, and there were things I could not do to make things go back to normal. I had to just take one step at a time and trust that we would keep moving forward. Cultivate patience by focusing on one step at a time, trusting that we will all move forward.
Q
Quiet. Enjoy moments of quiet, whether it is or has been too much because you are working from home alone or if it is because there are too few moments because the kids are home and your entire family is tripping over each other. Use quiet as another form of meditation. Take the moment to sit in silence when it appears and appreciate it, for it is the gap between notes that makes the music.
R
Rest. I have been sleeping a little deeper lately. I think my thinking has exhausted me, especially finding the right level of coaching communication during this sensitive time. Or you may be struggling with overactive thinking that keeps you waking in the middle of the night. Either way, we need to focus on rest and sustainability, health and healing during this time. So when you can, rest and know it is important to your health.
There are so many items we could add under each letter of the alphabet to keep us sane in these stressful times. I might not be able to stop this line of thinking! I encourage you (and your kids may enjoy this too) to make a list of things you think of under each letter of the alphabet. It’s a great writing prompt for journaling gratitude and self care and releasing any anxiety you may feel.
Take care, be well, and of course I will continue soon with STUVWXYZ!
Kim Perone is a Success, Bereavement, and Resilience Coach and Mindfulness Trainer at Center4C (The Center for Clarity, Compassion & Contentment) offering 1:1 coaching, workshops, programs, retreats, workplace training and resources to support you on your life’s journey. Kim is the author of The Case For Clarity, Compassion, and Contentment: Finding Your Center available at www.center4c.com and Amazon. For more information about cultivating clarity, compassion, and contentment in your life, contact Kim at [email protected] or (518) 301-359 or visit www.Center4C.com.
