Q: Helene, How can I become fearless in a world of chaos?

A: Facing fear doesn’t mean…
…bungee jumping from the highest cliff if we are afraid of heights. While it may help in the short term, the root cause of the fear remains. To reclaim our life from fear, we must learn to face our fear in a different way. We must make friends with our fear and understand it. Only then, can we  begin to see fear differently.

Become aware.
Take notice if you are forever keeping yourself distracted with tasks, projects, to-do-lists, constant running. Are these tasks keeping you from looking inward and seeing fear? When we constantly run from fear, it begins to overpower us and keep us stuck. This leads us to do more and more and become less and less. By creating awareness around these patterns, we can begin to shed light on this defeating habit.

Be willing.
Be willing to give up anxiety, fear and self-doubt that is keeping you from your true purpose. This requires getting uncomfortable. It requires looking fear in the face and saying “I’m not completely ready, but I am completely willing.” This enables  you to allow fear to walk beside you, but not lead.

Get clear on your fear.
Allow your fear to show up fully and be exposed to the light.  I am not good enough or I am not worthy unless I am helping others. (…or over-working, always doing, a size 2, have a certain title, level, amount of money in the bank.) Call out the fear so you can keep noticing as it shows up in your life. This enables you to recognize the over-thinking and say, “This is just my self-limiting belief that I am not worthy.” 

Create opportunities for new experiences.
Your fear has been part of you for so long, it will not move out of the way so quickly. Repeated exposure to new experiences are necessary to create new neural pathways. Choose the discomfort and go to the grocery store, write the book, apply for the promotion, pass up the cookie, drive down the road where you had your last panic attack, etc. As we create more opportunities for this exposure, and work through fear with the steps above, we slowly begin to rewire our brain for a more joyful, less fearful experience.

Celebrate your success.
A big part of rewiring is noticing the great strides that you have been making and celebrate them. Jump, shout, skip, smile, hug yourself, and share the news.  Create joy around these moments where you have faced your fear. We rewire our brain for joy when we actually let ourselves feel the positive emotions and react to them.

Decide to do this again and again.
Facing our fears and becoming fearless doesn’t mean that we will never have anxiety or self-doubt again. It means that we allow fear to become a small piece of us, rather than define us. We can see it and thank it for showing up and keeping us safe thus far. We can also choose again and decide to live the life that we were destined for, one of spirit, self-love and acceptance.

We all experience fear from time to time. Anxiety is a healthy emotion in small doses. By becoming aware of when it is excessive and purposely choosing to see things differently, we can show up fully in our lives and heal.  It is acceptable for fear to be part of our experience, but not in charge. Allow your inner guide lead you to your magnificence.

Helene Verdile is a Life Coach at HeleneVerdileLifeCoaching.com; and can be reached at  [email protected]; (518) 470-0048.

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