When I talk to clients who are stressed and overwhelmed because their life is overflowing with responsibilities and way too much doing, I tell them they can expand time. Of course this seems magical, perhaps even arrogant or unrealistic, but I have ways of helping a client achieve this. One way is teaching them how to be mindful.
Mindfulness is observing the present moment non-judgmentally. Sounds like something we do all the time, every minute of the day, right? Wrong. Most often, we are lost in our thoughts about what happened in the past and what we expect to happen in the future. We may even be lost in rumination, that echoing, negative, circling thought pattern about what frustrates us. Over-thinking, especially about what is negative, is a modern epidemic and it robs us of time and happiness. Our brains have a negativity bias to assist humanity’s survival. We are the descendants of those ancestors who were alert enough to negativity (danger) that they ran and survived. Today, we are not running from real danger thankfully, but we are running around in circles exhausting ourselves in our own minds. Take worry for instance. We have myths to rationalize why we worry so much: It’s how I am…or I am being responsible…or Worry is being an adult. We misuse our mental capacity, based on our brain’s evolution, to project worst case scenarios or put pressure on ourselves that is burdensome.
So if you want to expand time, the first thing you can do is to give yourself permission to live in the present moment. Mindfulness is observing the NOW and resisting the urge to label it good or bad. Begin noticing your thoughts. I want you to SEE your thoughts, not BE your thoughts. If a thought is distressing you, challenge it. If it is overly judgmental, I want you to release the judgment. You don’t have to judge in all situations. Many times, it is a choice, an automatic behavior.
Second, reconnect with what is real in that moment. Notice sights, sounds, feelings. For example, you may hear noises, you may feel your feet on the ground, or see something and observe it without judgment. This can all happen within a couple of minutes. It is okay to pause and ground yourself in this way. Focusing on your breath is effective even thought it seems too simple. Observing your breath, thereby moving away from a thought, is training your brain to come back from thoughts. This allows you to interrupt a train of thought that may not be serving you.
Third, this is just a beginning. There is so much more! As you strengthen your mindful muscle, time will expand because some of your time was being used by over-thinking. As the energy and time drain from over-thinking reduces, your focus, clarity, and joy increase. For more information on how to expand your time or make mindfulness a personal and professional priority in 2020, contact me about 1:1 coaching, group training, as well as workplace training and speaking engagements for audiences who are interested in harnessing the power of the present moment.
For more information about cultivating clarity, compassion, and contentment in your life, contact Kim at [email protected] or (518) 301-3593. Kim Perone is a Success, Bereavement, and Resilience Coach and Mindfulness Trainer offering 1:1 coaching, workshops, programs, retreats, workplace training and resources to support you on your life’s journey. Kim is the author of The Case For Clarity, Compassion, and Contentment: Finding Your Center available at www.center4c.com and Amazon.
