Recently, my husband Dave and I planned a return to our honeymoon destination for our 24th wedding anniversary. Our anniversary is January 16th and leaving the northeast for this year’s symbolic vacation at a Jamaican all-inclusive resort was highly anticipated.
The travel was long and when we arrived the weather was odd – extremely windy and not quite warm. We met a couple at the bar our first night and they were also odd… and creepy. My husband preceded to call them ‘the creepers’ and we tried to avoid them at all costs. Dave had been fighting a head cold and we were sure that the heat was going to knock it right out. We spent the first day bundled up shivering on lounge chairs by the pool determined to enjoy. Of course, I was the next to succumb to the cold. We spent that evening in the hotel room watching movies and feeling as if we were letting ourselves down. As the colds ran their course, the weather improved in very small bits, but the weather report showed rain for all our remaining days. “I refuse to believe this weather report!” I told Dave. “I will manifest sun!” So I rationalized that the weather icon for rain meant that it would be so hot that we would have a thunderstorm. I thought, That’s tropical. That must be what that weather report meant.
The third day, I woke up energized, my cold had turned a corner and the morning rain had just stopped. Hurray for us. I was ready for the day. Let our perfect vacation begin! As I threw open the drapes to a brighter day, I looked at Dave and he pointed to his lip. His bottom lip was swollen to 5x its size! I called the infirmary and got an appointment with the resort doctor who was able to give him medicine. Slowly, he returned to normal. Thank goodness we had access to a doctor, did not need to go to the hospital, and that it wasn’t a worse attack. We managed to enjoy the partly sunny, partly cloudy weather and run in an out of shelter during the occasional rain showers the rest of the vacation.
On our last day, the sun was blazing. “It’s a rub” Dave said, meaning a little ‘salt in the wounds’ for our less than perfect week. That day, we enjoyed a lovely conversation with our driver during the 2 hour ride to the airport ready to head back to our wintry cold homeland. After our first flight, we were met with thousands at customs and although they kept us moving at a crawl, we were not making progress. “We’ll make it,” I kept saying. After two hours in lines, we ran to our gate frantically only to hear that we missed our connecting flight by 2 minutes. The customer service desk attendant was helpful, but that was the last flight. After 10 hours of travel, we were going to be shuttled to a hotel and come back to the airport the next morning for a 10am flight. One more little irritation. This trip just seemed somehow ‘off’.
That night, we sat at the hotel bar and grill and ate our dinner realizing that we could be irritated or realize that there was nowhere else we needed to be and that all this really meant was that our vacation was now one day longer. I decided our life was unfolding as it should. We were exactly where we needed to be for whatever the reason and we mindfully enjoyed one more night away from home.
When we did eventually get home, we immediately set about fixing Dave’s phone that stopped working on vacation, another challenge of the week especially since Dave runs his own business. It just ceased to work and gave us the recovery page notification. After one and a half hours on the phone with customer service we were able to restore it and get it working. We were beginning to feel like we had completed some type of triathlon.
We noted that while the vacation was less than perfect, we thought the onsite restaurants were wonderful. We also recognized that we were together celebrating 24 years of marriage which was nothing short of a miracle since we have endured the loss of our son Jack 12 years ago. As we silently recounted life’s deep pain and challenges that very nearly made that celebration nonexistent, we acknowledged our appreciation for each other. We also found an appreciation that while things did not go quite right, they did not go horribly wrong either. Truly, we know what ‘horribly wrong’ means.
The day after we returned home, I had to travel yet again (luckily via ground this time) to Connecticut. On the ride in the car by myself, I burst into hysterical laughter. I called Dave. “I just have to tell you, I am cracking up thinking of you calling that couple ‘the creepers’ and then when you pointed to your huge lip with a pout!” We both laughed. We made memories that would last us another 24 years at least. This may be more perfect than perfection!
One of the greatest powers we have is to see the beauty in imperfection. Did I have a bad vacation or a beautiful vacation? What do you think? The great thing is that I get to decide. We all do. Every day, we can perceive everything around us and decide whether it is good or bad. The fact that we traveled was a blessing. The fact that we are together is a blessing. The fact that we now have funny stories is a blessing. In its imperfection, it is perfect. We are blessed to be safe, happy, together, and living our lives….and even though it is still winter, I am happy to be home!
