Fear has more than enough fuel at the moment. Lives are being threatened on many levels, yet we know we are blessed and we are exceptionally aware of those blessings during this time. We are either swirling in our emotions or cutting ourselves off from them, feeling it all physically in our bodies. The undercurrent of stress is exhausting.
My fear peaked last week. In a weak moment, I was triggered which was enlightening for me, indicative of my own state of mind. I got upset and angry. Luckily, I caught myself from full explosion and got curious, which is a great self coaching tool. You can take anything you are feeling and pause to examine it. Get curious about what is going on for you in that moment. Use the external trigger that brings about your awareness of an internal heightened negative emotion to 1) learn more about yourself, 2) shift toward more empowerment, and potentially, 3) release the fear.
In the aftermath of my meltdown, I thought to myself “I think I need a break.” This was self-compassion. I wondered what I needed and planned to help myself. I used all of the above to determine what I needed. The root cause for me was anticipation of loss and my past experience with loss. I then considered contributing factors which included mentally working around the clock trying to figure out what I should say as a coach that might be useful to others. I found myself drained. I became aware that a natural energy source for me is working with clients in person. During this time, I am extremely grateful for technology that keeps us working, but the subtle exchange of energy is now not happening. Social distancing may be affecting your energy levels in a similar way. Many who are now working and living in the same environment and trying to accomplish what they normally do and more can probably relate.
To further explore the concept of what this “time out” would involve, I thought “How can I begin to feel like I am going on vacation or weekend away or off-duty without leaving my home?” I’ve been saying that when we can’t journey in our towns, country or the world we can travel inward. I came up with a way for me to find flow, to find the activity that connects me with optimal state of focus, and it made me think of moving my own fear to flow.
Flow happens when you are immersed completely in the task at hand and time flies. You feel intrinsically motivated. You are engaging your skills and talents fully. You see clearly the goal and feel rewarded in the process. In his famous book Flow: The Psychology of Happiness, author and psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who coined the term “flow”, outlines the benefits which include feeling in control, yet reasonably challenged. The feeling of flow or ‘being in the zone’ as athletes call it, is a door opening to a higher state of consciousness. Your troubles and fears fall away. You connect more fully with your gifts and talents. You begin single-tasking and your brain celebrates! In this state, your ego begins to fade into the background and your soul takes center stage. You become less aware of yourself and problems in your life. Rather than multitasking you become completely immersed in the task at hand, enjoying it, long hours feel like minutes.
We need this now! Perhaps it is a good way to keep fear in check. While your environment at the moment be anything but conducive to this (homeschooling while working and parenting, involving massive necessary multitasking comes to mind), however as it relates to work and/or personal life, what is your flow? Create time on your calendar for specific times to connect flow, in other words working that activity that lets your higher level of consciousness raise and your ego fall back, feeling empowered and rewarded, immersed.
We can support ourselves (and perhaps others in our family) to find our flow in work or hobby, so that we can all maintain our sanity. What is flow for you and the other members of your family? Your flow may be personally and professionally rewarding, but who knows, it might even benefit the community or world. If it helps us keep our fear in check and invite more joy, then it most assuredly has helped the world.
For more information about cultivating clarity, compassion, and contentment in your life, contact Kim at [email protected] or (518) 301-3593. Kim Perone is a Success, Bereavement, and Resilience Coach and Mindfulness Trainer offering 1:1 coaching, workshops, programs, retreats, workplace training and resources to support you on your life’s journey. Kim is the author of The Case For Clarity, Compassion, and Contentment: Finding Your Center available at www.center4c.com and Amazon.
