Q: How can I feel more joy?
A: When I conduct my programs, participants often find they are starving their joy. In Coaching Happiness, one of the activities is to fill out a Happiness Inventory and they are generally quick to fill a page, but then on examination realize they may not make enough time for many of things they have written. In Live by Design, we talk about “Life Accounts” (a term coined by coach, author, and executive Michael Hyatt in his book Live Forward). Clients realize there is an ‘account’, such as health or spirituality for example, that isn’t getting enough attention. In Stressed, Obsessed & Blessed Retreats, we focus on what our passions are and how we cultivate them. We determine where we find ecstatic engagement and how that opens the door to joy in our lives. Often people are not sure what their passion may be and even start to feel discouraged by that. “Now you get to explore that!” I say. They may think they are lacking but really they’ve just been driving themselves with too many ‘shoulds’ to pursue passion. Or perhaps they only “earn” happiness after toiling away with chores making it a reward for drudgery. In Judgment Detox, we reveal that the dirty secret in judgment is a quick fix for our ego and ultimately a sense of separation from others and an opportunity to forge forgiveness or compassion.
There is a mindful expression, Any day you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you. We are all living a life of joy. Whether we are participating in that joy is another matter. A mindful life is one in which we are aware of the present moment and a joyful life is one where those present moments bring a constant barrage of happiness leading to joy because we allow those moments bring us joy.
Facebook reveals that eating out, vacationing, and time with family and friends is a clear shared joy. But there is so much more! You can cultivate joy by increasing your awareness of the everyday pleasures such as sun, music, driving, coffee, and other moments of potential happiness. When we are mindful and we stop to appreciate those moments, we are able to let them sink into our consciousness. Happiness is an instant, joy is a state. We can cultivate a joyful state by becoming mindful of many little joys and taming the ego that creates irritation at anything and everything. Think about your most recent irritations. Write them on a list and then create a counter point to why it is truly a happy blessing in your life. The restaurant with the bad service, was a dinner out that you are blessed to be able have. The spilled coffee on your favorite blouse is one ruined shirt out of hundreds you will have in your lifetime… or blessing that you have laundry facilities and resources to clean…. or a great story of a comedy of errors with friends. Your annoying coworker is byproduct of having a job or perhaps it is an inspired exercise in patience.
Stop letting irritation, frustration and responsibility rob your joy. Are you ready to cultivate joy this summer and beyond? It is some of the most important work you will do!
For more information on coaching, contact Kim at [email protected], (518) 301-3593.
