I believe there is a great journey to be taken deep inside all of us that is far superior than any exotic lands, cocktail laden beaches, or even outer space. It is a journey that can take place in the comfort of your own home, in quiet solitude or with friends. It is a journey that results in greater connection with the most important person in your life – YOU!
In this blog, we will take a dive into “innerspace”; a journey to the center of our being. We will examine thoughts that cause us to hide our true selves, limiting our prospects, holding our true potential hostage. We will explore tips and techniques, lessons and exercises that serve our highest self. This will enable us to better access the song of our soul on a daily basis, so that we may live inspired. We will build greater awareness around what helps and hinders our goal of living a life of joy, peace, integrity and balance.
This very first topic involves our thoughts. Recently, I heard the expression that sitting is the new smoking; meaning that lack of movement is the new health crisis. It occurred to me, if sitting is the new smoking, then thinking is clearly the new drinking. Too much can be disruptive to your life, cause you a great deal of stress, and potentially damage relationships. Today, over thinking is a modern disease.
Why do we do it?
First, we have a negativity bias. Our primal brain has heightened awareness to danger. And of course, our ancestors had the best sensors and the evidence is that they survived and why we exist. However, we don’t need quite the level our ancestors had for our everyday lives. Second, it is easy to be in a position where ‘good’ is an expectation (for which we are blessed). Therefore, everything good in our lives is put on a shelf and left to gather dust unacknowledged while our mind nibbles on the problems in our lives. That’s where the fixing and solving takes place, so naturally we feel the problems need our attention. It makes perfect sense. However, if we are causing ourselves undue stress and discomfort, we need to use our brain to pull back from this practice and get reconnected with all the good in our lives. We can see how innocently we may fall into this mind trap.
How do we stop thinking so much?
Our “ego” is part of our mind that does not always speak with our best interest. In fact, sometimes it is downright mean and its incessant chatter is exhausting, judgmental, discontented. It can bring up disturbance – new and old – reminding us of hurt, conflict, and worry. It is as if it feeds on the problems….and in a way it does. I needs problems to stay relevant. This is how the ‘ego’ feels important. This is the part of our mind that says “Hey shouldn’t you be worried about that?” or “Aren’t you doing the wrong thing?” It’s saying, “See, I’m doing my job. You do need me! I am important.”
This part of our minds is not who we really are. The ego is the thinker and can mask our true selves under the narration and judgment of the world moment to moment, scanning for problems, needing problems. Without them, the ego feels like it will be out of a job. For this reason, acknowledging we are not our thoughts is the very important first step.
So who are we?
We are the ones who hear the thoughts. We are the observer of these thoughts. We are not our thoughts. When we look at a picture, we are not the picture. We are the one looking at a picture.
As we become the observer of our thoughts, we can better understand this ego-ic part of our mind and its logic, gaining a necessary distance. As the author of the Untethered Soul Michael Singer says, we begin to understand that often we are locked in our heads with a maniac!
Gratitude is the practice of getting the mind focused back on all that is good. Since we live in a world where ‘good’ has become an expectation, we put ‘good’ on a shelf and let it gather dust, while our mind tends to all the ‘bad’ that needs fixing. “Dusting off the good” and appreciate the wonderful things is using gratitude as a tool to pull the mind back in line away from negative thinking. Think of it as exercise for your brain. In doing this, we are regaining control over the ego and thereby, creating connection with our soul.
Noticing negative thoughts and countering them is another practice. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true?” and “Does it empower me or stress me?” “What is a more loving thought?” In spiritual literature there is a concept of fear v. love. We are familiar with fearful or anxious thoughts and love is not romantic love, of course, but more a loving state of being. We cannot be in fear and love at the same time. When you realize you are having thoughts that are ‘in fear’, choose another thought, a more loving thought. For instance, using my own example, “I am not ready to do this Facebook video. I’m not ready to coach through FB group!” A more loving thought is, “I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Now is the perfect time to start. I speak these words all the time to clients and groups, this is just now doing it with a cell phone.” Overtime, our awareness and the practice strengthens our ability to move from fear to love, retraining our brain away from harmful thinking.
To begin to feel empowered, start this week by becoming aware of your thoughts. What are these thoughts saying? Notice the narration happening. How kind or unkind are the thoughts? Notice when it is judgmental or unkind. Notice when it is causing worry. At least 1 x per day, actively observe a judgmental thought and counter it with a more empowering and loving thought.
In future weeks, we will continue to learn more about mastering our mind, looking inward, and connecting to our truest selves. You are so worth it! Thank you for investing this time in Innerspace. If you are interesting in joining the INNERSPACE Facebook Group we would be happy to welcome you!
Kim Perone, Certified Life Coach at The Center for Clarity, Compassion & Contentment serves clients with one-on-one and group coaching and can be reached via email or phone at [email protected], (518) 301-3593.
For more information on life coaching and The Center’s activities, visit www.Center4c.com.
